Whoever thinks marriage is all bliss and two people living happily ever after… think again. Marriage is hard work. Especially when you are a blended family. I am not here to judge anyone. This isn’t my first marriage but I do know it will be my last. I have learned some valuable lessons in my life. I want to share with you some of my thoughts about how to have a strong lasting marriage.
The first thing is you and your husband need to be on the same page when it comes beliefs and raising kids. This can be especially hard when there is outside influence from other family members. So one of the most important things to remember is this is between the two of you. If you are a person of faith then you know God comes first, then comes your spouse. Yes your spouse. Not the kids. The kids come after your spouse. I believe that if there is a strong foundation between a husband and wife everything else your home will fall into place. Children are happier when they feel secure and have a content home.
Especially in blended families children tend to work both sides. They are kids. They will do this because kids can be selfish and think about their own wants before anyone else. So they tend to take us for granted. They may put up a fight and try to make you feel guilty but inside they really just want to feel secure. If we would put the children first don’t you think we are setting them up for disappointment when they are older? We don’t want them to be self centered and think the world revolves around them. We want them to be responsible, loving adults.
When we put our marriage first, we are modeling this positive behavior.
We may think we are doing whats best for our kids by fulfilling all their wants. That this will make them happier children. How many times have you thought to yourself ‘ why is that kid like that? I thought he had better parents than that’. Or what about the kids who come out of an abusive home only to become respectful productive adults? It’s because our children are human. They have free will just like we do. As they grow older they will make their own decisions. We will not be able to control them all their lives. We can control ours.
Lastly, our children will grow and hopefully will grow up to be a responsible loving adult to his or her spouse and their children like we have modeled for them. Isn’t this the best thing we can pass on to our children? Happiness.